An annual trip to Australia.

January, 2017

It sounds fascinating and certainly will be. But for now I am here, in Poland, with my family, my boyfriend, my friends. Ahead, a trip for a year or longer (or shorter). A lonely trip (yes, I know – I will meet new people there, it will be great, but … it’s not the same).

Does not matter whether I do leave for a year, half a year. It is a very long time anyway and the world will not stop on this occasion, my friends, the boyfriend will not fall into a winter sleep like bears and will not wait until I come back. Their lives, just as mine will continue to be, I will not take an active part in it anymore.

I’m afraid that I will miss much, that I will miss the wonderful summer that I could spend with friends, traveling somewhere around Europe, taking walks together in the early spring to the park. I am afraid that I will lose everything I have been precisely building for so many years. All these relationships.

And on the other side awaits the unknown. And probably it is so overwhelming. It is a constant feeling that you give up something familiar, safe, good for something else that will not necessarily give you happiness. But on the other hand, if I won’t go, I will never know it and I will always have a grudge against myself that I have not tried it.

Although I hope that I will bring only good memories from Australia and that I will have something to come back to.